nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
