dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
