ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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