I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
