I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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