It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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