clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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