So drunk, too bad you don't want this
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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