She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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