Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
