I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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