Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
