I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
