We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
