Where did you get a picture of my penis
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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