Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
