Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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