Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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