If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
