i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
