tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize