Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I am naked and annoyed.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
