thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
