Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
that is very illegal...i love you.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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