Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize