In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
