Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize