He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
