Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
