If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
