Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
