If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
