The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize