i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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