Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Found the puke drawer
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
