it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
