I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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