She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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