Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
