could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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