i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
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he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
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Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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