So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
