It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
