You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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