it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
