I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Vodka?
Forever.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
