One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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