If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Quick, to the slutcave!
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
