Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
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