I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
