So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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