Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
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