I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
