Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
