First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
