2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
