I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
