peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
