you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
