that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My liver just had a heart attack.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize