the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
one two three fourrrrnication!
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
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